Hello. Last night I dreamed we signed Cristiano Ronaldo and everyone was really excited but when he arrived we had to put him together like flat-pack furniture from IKEA and Real Madrid left out the hinges for his legs so he took over the job of running the official website. Odd. Anyway, yesterday we won the Barclay's Asia KFC Sellotape Trophy with a 3-1 win over Everton. I did not see any of it other than brief goal snippets. Walcott's finish was tasty, so was Cazorla's, so was Ozil's. Everton scored a goal for some reason (we ought to make it clear to the opposition as early as possible that this kind of thing is simply not on), but in the end we hung on for a glorious victory that will...
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