And with that, I’m gone. It’s been chaotic. Thanks for being there. Bye!

And Louise Taylor was at Newcastle to see Chelsea get emphatically beaten:

Antonio Conte began the afternoon in highly animated form in the technical area and, for a while, became almost hysterical before his mood finally morphed into sulky acceptance.

Long before the end, Chelsea’s manager’s had become oddly static as he stood arms folded, expression disconsolate, on the touchline. Maybe they were saving themselves for the FA Cup final but Conte’s players never looked remotely like a side which kicked off harbouring outside hopes of a top four place.

David Hytner was served with a slap-up goal feast at Wembley:

The Tottenham Hotspur support chanted that they were going home and there is certainly excitement among their number at the prospect of returning to the rebuilt White Hart Lane next season. Yet what a send-off they gave to Wembley.

Here’s a report on Burnley 1-2 Bournemouth:

Antonio Conte talks after Chelsea’s dismal performance at Newcastle.

We lost the game and I think deserved to have this defeat. I don’t know, for sure Newcastle look more determined than us. I think this. For sure, we didn’t lose a place in the Champions League today, or on the last two games. The chances were zero. But I think to finish the season this way, it’s not good. It’s not good for the team, not good for the players, not good for the fans. Now we have six days to prepare for the FA Cup final, and for sure we have to change. Our start today wasn’t good.

When there is this situation, the first person to answer for this must be the coach. Because if in this game we had this spirit, this will, this desire, I think that I’m the first person to answer for this. You’re talking about the other team being more determined. I think today I wasn’t able to transfer that determination to my players.

Stuart James watched as Swansea’s far-fetched hopes of salvation came to nought:

There was a funereal feel about this fixture as Stoke, who were already down, condemned Swansea City to relegation and a place in the Championship alongside them. Swansea, in truth, were resigned to their fate on Wednesday night, after Huddersfield grabbed an unlikely point at Chelsea, meaning that Carlos Carvalhal’s side needed a footballing miracle on the final day of the season.

Dominic Fifield saw Crystal Palace climb to 11th place in the league, and West Brom slip back to the bottom:

This game ended up a celebration of Roy Hodgson, with the affection bellowed by both sets of supporters. The home support in the Holmesdale end waited until early in the second half to unfurl their banners of appreciation, with the ground then united in chorusing the former England manager’s name. He looked almost sheepish acknowledging the adulation.

At Southampton, Dusan Tadic hasn’t just taken off and given away his shirt – his vest, shorts and socks have gone as well, and he’s walking off the pitch in a jockstrap.

Jacob Steinberg was at the London Stadium, where West Ham won and Everton were rubbish:

It spoke volumes that the Everton fans did not spring to the defence of their manager when the locals started having fun at Sam Allardyce’s expense. They simply could not be bothered and are unlikely to shed any tears if this limp defeat marks the end of Allardyce’s unhappy tenure.

Andy Hunter witnessed Mo Salah’s latest goalscoring exploits at Anfield:

Liverpool may have left it typically late to seal Champions League qualification but their farewell to the Premier League season and warm-up for Real Madrid was otherwise faultless. Mohamed Salah began a comprehensive win over Brighton with a record 32nd league goal of the campaign and Kop favourite Andy Robertson capped it with his first for the club. Anfield could only admire the exhibition in between.

Jamie Jackson watched Michael Carrick’s Old Trafford farewell:

Michael Carrick’s 464th and final Manchester United appearance featured a vintage moment via a sweet pass that created Marcus Rashford’s first-half winner. The midfielder had walked out to a guard of honour and on 80 minutes strode off the turf for a last time to a standing ovation.

Ben Fisher was at St Mary’s to see Manchester City smash another record:

How fitting that Manchester City would finish an extraordinary season with a bang. Gabriel Jesus, a substitute here, hoisted a wonderful dinked effort into the net with only seconds of the Premier League season left after meeting a flighted Kevin De Bruyne ball to earn the champions’ 32nd win of the campaign, attaining a landmark and record-breaking century of points in the process.

The match reports are trickling in now. This from Paul Doyle at Huddersfield:

Arsène Wenger’s powers may have dwindled in recent years but at least his last match at Arsenal ended in the same way his first one did in 1996, with his team taking three points. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, the Frenchman’s last major signing at the north London club, made sure of that detail by stabbing into the net from close range in the 38th minute.

Mo Salah has a chat:

This one is very special. As I said before many times, it’s always on my mind to help with the team. Now we’re in the Champions League and I won the award, so I’m very proud to do it. It’s always in my mind to succeed in England, with 100% to give more to succeed here. I had a great season. I’m trying to improve every year. I’m very happy. I improve year after year, I’m very proud about that.

Arsene Wenger’s final post-match TV interview concludes:

I believe I had an impact on the club as a whole, because the club today is in a strong position. A new stadium, a new training ground, they’re all paid basically. We played 48 games unbeaten, it’s difficult to imagine. I’m very proud as well for winning seven FA Cups. I see a bright future for my successor, the team has a good attitude and good quality. We need two or three additions, and after that I believe the club will compete for the championship.

On the pitch at Anfield, Mo Salah has brought out all of his individual awards for this ridiculous, over-achieving season, and is being presented with one more – the golden boot.

And here’s the league table:

So the scorelines in full, and if nothing much was in the end decided today, at least everyone had fun not doing it. 31 goals! Thirty-one! Unless I’ve miscounted, which I probably have.

Burnley 1-2 Bournemouth
Crystal Palace 2-0 Bournemouth
Huddersfield 0-1 Arsenal
Liverpool 4-0 Brighton
Man Utd 1-0 Watford
Newcastle 3-0 Chelsea
Southampton 0-1 Man City
Swansea 1-2 Stoke City
Tottenham 5-4 Leicester
West Ham 3-1 Everton

A ludicrous match comes to an end at Wembley, and the 2017-18 Premier League season is over!

Callum Wilson grabs a late winner for Bournemouth at Turf Moor. The only game still in progress is at Wembley – was that the final Premier League goal of the season?

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Guardiola goes absolutely wild as that goal goes in. Remarkable scenes.

The referee indicated three minutes of stoppage time and the game was in the final second of those three minutes when De Bruyne lifted the ball over the Southampton defence, Jesus ran onto it, controlled and lifted over the keeper and into the net! A brilliant goal, and City win their 100th point with the final kick of the season!

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It’s all over for Swansea, and for Stoke, in a number of ways. Stoke head to the Championship buoyed by their first win in 14.

“It’s looking like 42 points for West Ham, same as in 2003 under Roeder/Brooking,” writes Mark Jelbert. “Relegation that year, looking like 13th this.”

“Conte’s team selection had a distinct whiff of a farewell sabotaging of the fourth place jig and now they’re parking the bus and conceding possession at 0-3,” writes Eamonn Maloney. “This is bordering on breach of his contract.” It does appear to have been an abysmal performance.

Table movewatch: as it stands, West Ham are going up two places, and Southampton and Stoke are going up one place each. The top 12 places are unchanged.

A hard, low cross from the left wing is diverted away from goal by a defender but rolls straight to Robertson, who slams it in!

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Another lovely goal! From the edge of the area Lanzini curls the ball across Pickford, who gets a hand to it but can’t stop it nestling inside the far post!

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Massive applause at Crystal Palace as Pape Souare comes on for his first appearance since the car crash that nearly ended his career in 2016.

Palace have scored some lovely goals in recent weeks, and here’s another. Three players exchange rat-a-tat passes outside the area, bemusing the West Brom defence, and then the ball is played through to Van Aanholt, who takes it past the keeper and scores!

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Kane has the ball outside the area. Choudhury comes to close him down, and Kane ghosts past him with a nice drop of the shoulder and then curls a lovely shot into the far post from 18 yards!

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The ball is crossed into the area, there are a succession of largely aimless headers, and then Niasse brings it down, spins beautifully and scores from close range. That is a really classy goal!

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Vardy is played into the penalty area and crashes a lovely left-footed shot inside the near post!

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Defoe’s low shot is saved but Burnley don’t clear their lines, Bournemouth get it back into the penalty area and King, from out to the left, cuts onto his right foot and curls into the far corner!

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Loftus-Cheek brings the ball forward from halfway before finding Van Aanholt to his left, and his cross is well turned in by Zaha with his left foot, a finish which was made to look a lot easier than it was.

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At Wembley, Lloris saves well to deny Iheanacho. Not a lot of good defending going on there, with Spurs in particular finding all sorts of space in the final third, and surely more goals to come.

Arnautovic collects the ball with his back to goal, spins past Keane and lashes a shot goalwards from 20 yards. It’s so hard that Pickford decides not to get his hands in the way of it – or perhaps it moved a lot in the air – and it whistles straight past him!

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Yeah, 39 minutes. I know.

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Shelvey’s free kick from the right goes across goal, the ball is volleyed back into the mixer and Perez bundles it in!

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Walker-Peters presents Lamela with another tap-in at the end of another break. His second goal has been given to Fuchs, so it’s not a hat-trick (yet).

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Shelvey’s low shot from outside the area goes straight to Perez, who gets a slight touch to send it inside the far post! Chelsea have been awful today, and deservedly trail by two. The visitors have come close to scoring since the break, but Giroud’s header was brilliantly saved by Dubravka.

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Liverpool should have had a fourth, but Firmino, set up by Salah, shoots too close to Ryan, who saves. They are 3-0 up, but it could have been six.

Rose crosses from the left, Lucas Moura backheels the ball to Lamela, and his shot flies off Fuchs and ends up in the top corner!

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It’s saved! Fabianski dives low to his right, and Shaqiri’s shot goes right to him!