I had the strangest dream this morning as I was dozing before the alarm went off. Cheesed off by an elaborately wordy article in The Times about his time at Arsenal and his initial departure from Barcelona, a gigantic Hector Bellerin was terrorising a section of inner-city Dublin, going around shooting people like he was in a Call of Duty style video game. He only stopped when a famous comedian who I had never heard of but everyone else seemed to know, calmed him down and gave him a saucer of milk to lap from like a thirsty cat. The carnage though. There were bodies everywhere. Grannies in their dressing gowns mown down by machine gun fire, but Hector didn't seem at all remorseful,...
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